I am the second youngest employee in my office and by far the most jubilant of the bunch. The majority of my co-workers are financially strapped and aren't interested in hiding it at all. They openly discuss being swamped with bills, unable to afford certain luxuries, etc. To cope, they embrace bitter sarcasm and take turns poking fun at themselves / situation. I understand they are not happy with their lives or their current situation; but what i do not understand is why they automatically presume that because i come to work everyday with a smile and upbeat attitude, that i'm automatically an immature youth that has no sense of reality. Granted, that is not their exact phrasing, but they convey this message through other means. The truth is no, i am not unhappy with my life so that does make it easier to be well, happy. But i resent the fact that most of them perceive me as 'naive' or 'immature.' I have overcome my share of hardships - from an ugly divorce, to financially difficult times, to cancer, to a bad remarriage, to parental abuse. i've worked hard to overcome emotional set backs and find happiness despite life's curve balls. It took about six years for me to do it but i finally achieved it. None of my co-workers know this nor do they need to. but what they do need to do is stop assuming that just because someone comes to work with a good aura about them, does not by any means they are living in a field of daisies. 

sometimes i wonder if i'll ever feel what its like to be loved. to love. have i loved? i think i did but i'm not sure. i never really had the chance to find out. he fell for her because she put herself out there. i tripped over my own words and hid behind clever remarks. "i love you, you're my best friend." he once said. he meant it too - down to the bone. but there was that word. friend. dangling everything i wanted right in front of me only then to stamp the huge road block sign, FRIEND. but then again. last valentines day he said the same thing to her. 'I love you, best friend." Only with her friend was a shield instead of a blockade. It was used to get closer to her, not push her away. It worked. She left what she had to be with him. One year later they couldn't be more in love and i couldn't be more alone.